Shreya and I have broken up. I feel like it would be hard to explain why, especially to someone like my parents, who exist in a whole different mental space than we do. Ultimately, we saw that it would be better for both of us to not be under the burden of attachment.
The relationship we had was so beautiful. There are countless moments I can recall from the past three years that bring me joy. So much laughter, so many adventures, so much love. Don’t get me wrong; it was so fucking difficult through and through. Probably the most difficult thing I took part in in my life. But in hindsight, all those difficult moments are as beautiful as the joyful ones. I can safely say that my decision to come to the U.S. at age 11, go to Northeastern University, and major in Behavioral Neuroscience… I know I made all the right decisions simply with the fact that I got to meet Shreya.
From the first day that we met, the connection we had was something that I had never experienced before. I think we saw each other almost every day for the next two months or so, to the point where it was becoming a problem (she had a boyfriend at the time). Shreya was the one who got me to double down on spirituality (Buddhism/meditation/psychedelics) and pushed me to pursue these things. I remember in our sophomore year, when we first met, she convinced me to practice the Noble Eightfold Path with her. That meant I even became vegan for a little while (I remember Jon or Eric calling me a simp for going vegan for a girl that I wasn’t even dating). Our interests and values were nearly identical, and all her hobbies (yoga, Buddhism…) and all my hobbies (running, sauna, traveling…) started merging together. We even cultivated new hobbies together (hiking, jiu-jitsu).
The directions that our inner compasses were pointing were so close to each other that we boarded the same bus to get there. And now, after three years of traveling together, it got to the point where we had to get off the bus to walk to our destinations. But now that we became closer to our destinations, it became clear that our compasses are pointing in different directions. From afar, they appeared to point in the same direction, but once we got closer, the fact of the matter was that they were not identical. She was doubling down on Buddhist practices, renouncing lay life; I was developing personal philosophy by engaging in lay life. It was starting to be clear that it made the most sense to do our own things at this point. The only reason to stay together was the fear of losing each other—the fear of making the wrong decision by letting go of one person who knows me the best and loves me.
But our relationship has taught me to follow my heart and to trust each other to follow theirs. We are fellow journeymen in this grand adventure we call life. And now we must go our own ways.
I am filled with gratitude and am truly honored to have played the role of Shreya’s partner. I am also grateful for all the people who witnessed our relationship and saw the beauty in it. From a dude at a smoothie shop in Canada giving us free smoothies because of the energy we brought to the shop, to Dylan’s dad telling us that the house was filled with warmth while watching us cuddle and sleep together on his couch, to many of our friends telling me that they see our relationship as a goal for theirs.
This will mark an end to the incredible chapter of our lives, and I’m excited to see what is to come for both Shreya and me.